Mark down December 29 as
Mark down December 29 as one of the worst days of the year.
I had a terrible day yesterday. I’ve been having a crappy month of December as a whole, but I think it reached its peak yesterday.
My boss informed me that he is considering hiring someone to come take over the department and handle the managerial aspects of it. I know that this would be a really good idea for the company. It would be really good for me. I don’t know what I am doing there. I am not getting the direction I need from him, and I don’t know where to take the department. If the department is going to be successful, they need a person that has the experience of working for a dot com and management expertise that comes from having done this before. I am not this person. I would like to be that person, but right now, I am not. But still hearing my boss say that kind of hurt.
I also asked my boss if any sort of raise was going to come with the review that I had a month ago. The subject had never been brought up. I’ve been at my company 7 and a half months now. I think I’ve done some pretty good work. He said the department isn’t where they want it and it just hasn’t been making the money to hand out a raise. That one really hurt. It is true that we haven’t been making any money, but it isn’t my job to get us clients and the sales department certainly hasn’t been sending anyone our way. And I am certainly not making huge bucks here, rather far below the going rate for someone with such a broad range of skills.
I feel like a jack of all trades and a master of none and this doesn’t make me happy.
After that, I came home to find a note on my door. I apparently owe my apartment $49.72. They could have left a nice note indicating this. No. Since I was already having a crappy day, I get a Three-Day Notice to Pay Rent or Quit. WTF? I didn’t know I owed this money. Now I’m looking at the note and it is dated Wednesday. They delivered the thing Friday. Does that mean three days from Wednesday? Or the date it actually was delivered? Argh. I’d best get my butt down to the office. Sure glad I’m in town this weekend.
I am in a rut. Spiritually. Emotionally. Romantically. At work. At home. One big fat rut that I can’t get out of.
So, last night, after a good cry, I have decided that it’s time to get my life in gear. If I am in a rut, I need to change something to get out. It’s the last weekend of the year, so what better time to reevaluate oneself and establish new goals and priorities?
There is going to be a new Leia in 2001. Watch out.