Random Thoughts from a Large Head

ICQ conversation with Nandu, a business acquaintance in India:

Nandu: do u have a partner?
Leia: not at present, but i’m working on it.
Nandu: hahahaha. You should get a good chap. From what i know, you are a very smart girl

Ah, the charm spreads worldwide.

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Some while ago, I was listening to music through headphones plugged in to my laptop. I got up from the computer, placed the headphones on the desk, and went to walk away. Clumsily, I tripped over the headphone cord and ripped out several pieces of the laptop. I found that I could still listen if I held the plug just right. Eventually, though I wiggled the headphone plug too much and the computer quit playing sound altogether. I finally contacted Dell about this and Jim, the Dell repair man, is currently fixing the problem.

I thought it was a small fix. Oh no. The replacement part is the size of the entire laptop and belongs underneath all the components like the hard drive, power supply, and DVD drive. He has unscrewed every screw on the laptop and it is in pieces all over the table.

If you are going to break something, do it big.

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Well, the site is back up. Yesterday morning, the server this site (and others) lived on was hit with the Nimda worm. We immediately took the server offline and moved it to a newer and more secure server. I didn’t know where to tell Blogger to send the files though, so the site was down until we got that set up this morning. Thanks to everyone who sent an email or instant message expressing concern, I’m fine, the site is now fine, and all is content. Back to work now!

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Happiness is making that computer you thought was dead come to life again. Or maybe that’s just geekiness.

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It has been a hard week in so many ways. I’m so thankful that I have some great people that have really helped me from sinking in to a big slump.

Friday night’s impromptu blogger gathering was great. Erica, Mark, and Amanda all attended. Also making their first ever appearances amongst the DFW Blogger crowd were Matt, Karen (who brought her friend Dave), and brand-spanking-new blogger Andy. We consumed just about every type of Jack Daniels’ flavored creation the menu offered. After dinner, we took some candles out into the ballpark and lit them for the nationwide candle lighting. It was so wonderfully peaceful. The temperature was lovely, the night was quiet, I was amongst friends. It was a beautiful moment. Then we all headed to Erica’s house, where we talked for hours.

I don’t know what it is about these people. I instantly feel comfortable, confident, and, like Matt noted, at ease when I am around these people. Around most new people, I am withdrawn and shy, but these folks get the real me. Well, at least 85% real. I haven’t showed them all the supreme dork that I can be.

Matt asked us, “Do you feel at home?” My answer: no. Dallas is feeling homier with all the new friends I am making, but I don’t ever think it will feel like home. This question has been permeating my thoughts all weekend. I really hate introspection.

Saturday I woke up with an extreme headache, the likes of which I have not had in a long time. I took lots of drugs and went back to bed until four in the afternoon. Once I got up and showered, Denise and I went to the Golden Corral and pigged out on the buffet, hoping to kill my headache with yeast rolls and mashed potatoes. It worked.

Sunday morning meant church. The place was packed: I have only seen it that full at Easter and Christmastime. The music of the service was wonderful, but the message lacked what I needed. I love the people of my church and working with the youth, but I find myself increasingly dissatisfied with my worship experience. I have yet to decide what to do about that. Most Sundays, it means I just skip worship and show up to help with the youth in the evening.

This afternoon, the youth held an art auction to raise money. The owner of a local gallery brought a wide selection of nicely framed lithographs and paintings, which were bid upon. The youth received a percentage of the monies from the sale. I was in charge of processing credit card sales, using one of those contraptions you place the card in and move the thingy across so it imprints the card numbers on the slips. Um, yeah, you know what I am talking about. Well, I proceeded to process my thumb along with a credit card the first time I tried to use it. Ouch! The mark is still there. It was hard not to list a string of obscenities right there in the narthex.

My dad spontaneously purchased me a membership to Sam’s Club this week. I took advantage of it this afternoon, purchasing enough food to not have to go to the grocery store for a month, save bread or milk. If you would like to come over for dinner, your options will be Cheesy Mac or Spaghetti-O’s. Nothing but the best, I say.

Youth on Sunday evening was mostly light because of this difficult week. We played games: I was the captain of a kickball team, probably a first in my life. I would like to know what it is about playing with kickballs at youth means the ball has to hit me in the head every time, without fail. Anil would probably say it has something to do with gravitational force.

I never talked about Fray Day last weekend. I had a blast staying with Julie and getting to hang out with some really cool people. I am so grateful for this community. Pictures.

Note to self: It’s time to get the ball rolling and fix what is wrong. It may take time, but if you had started this a year ago, you’d be a year further along.

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Staying in bed until 4 in the afternoon because of a killer headache does not make going to bed at a reasonable hour at all possible. But that means content for you! Now up in my fancy database-driven photo gallery, pictures from fray day 5.

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The Images That Won’t Let Us Go. Exactly. via Kevin.

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I have a compelling desire to go lay flowers against a monument to show my support for our nation. I want to stand along the road and applaud rescue workers. I want to hug and comfort every person who is hurting. I want to do something, but distance from disaster prevents it.

The best thing I can think to do is go be as American as I can and surround myself with friends - those people who are fast becoming my extended family here. If you are in the Dallas/Fort Worth area and would like to be amongst friends, please join us at T.G.I. Friday’s at the Ballpark in Arlington tonight (Friday) at 7pm. Spending money and eating food in an baseball stadium sounds just about as American as I can get right now.

I hope to see you there.

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My cable just went out for five minutes, knocking out all the noise in my apartment and knocking me off the internet. Normally, this would be a mere inconvenience. Tonight, I immediately freaked. The hum of electronics was gone. My eyes teared up. The first thought in my head was someone has bombed communications. I flipped on the radio, the station it was on didn’t come in. I switched to another frequency, “House of the Rising Sun” filled the silence. The cable came back a few minutes later, followed by my modem. The cable is back, but I still can’t shake the jumpiness.

When the power goes out, my eyes tear up. It’s a sort of weird reaction I have. The next time it goes out, what will be the first thought on my mind? If it happens soon, my first thought will likely be that terrorism has eliminated electricity. I’ll probably do more than just tear up.

I slept with my light on last night. I had turned the light off and it was suddenly too dark, there were too many unexplained noises. I’m even jumpier now, I think rest tonight will require light and background noise.

It is times like these I don’t like being so alone.

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This photo is beautiful, tragic and inspiring to me all at once. In the midst of destruction, the American Flag still flies.

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