I bought Pixel, the pet cockatiel, some new toys for her cage today. She was down to only her bell, as she had chewed through her other toys. And she and the bell have become close. Perhaps too close. Let’s face it, she and the bell have become, well, intimate. So I decided she needed some distraction from her plaything.
She has two new toys in the cage: a mirror and this whirly thing that has a jingle bell in it. And she doesn’t like them. They scare her. She’s doing what I can only assume is the cockatiel equivalent of the human fetal position: shifting back and forth from one leg to the other on her food dish.
At least she quit choking the chicken.
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Leave it to Google to boost my self-esteem when I go to do a search: “You’re brilliant. We’re hiring.”
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Rumor has it that Haikus of the News Katie might make an appearance among DFW Bloggers tomorrow night. We are somewhat concerned that Katie might only speak and understand 5-7-5 form, so we have been prepping Jeremy with some things he might say so that she might feel comfortable:
I have rock hard abs.
You can call me Jeremy.
Let’s get nasty now.
I have a website.
Better watch out, naive one
I’m gonna say f***.
Look at my muscles.
Aren’t they chiseled and hard?
Don’t look! I’m bloated.
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Most interesting Data Entry name to date: Cowden Bell
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I once saw Hulk Hogan at a water park in Tampa, Florida.
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I bought some Silly Putty this weekend with the full intention of giving it to someone as a gift. Instead, I decided to keep it for myself (and gave them two cans of silly string instead). (I just started and ended a sentence with instead. I have amazing grammatical skills).
I love this stuff. I’ve never had any silly putty of my own before. I’ve been molding it into shapes, stretching it out as thin as it will go, smashing it onto stuff and seeing the impression it makes. I like rolling it into a ball and then smashing it into my palm and seeing the tiny print that is left from the impression of the lines from my hands. Such fun! Whee!
Obviously, I need a hobby.
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Stuck on I-635 eastbound, there’s an accident at our exit. Four miles take one hour. Observed:
» 1 male apple eater
» 1 female applying chapstick
» 1 male looking at his palms
» 1 female brushing hair
» 2 cars for sale
» 5 helicopters, likely broadcasting traffic reports
» Too many bored people to count
» 1 male nose picker
» 1 annoying female lane opportunist with license plate reading “Daddy bought it, but look who got it” on her Sunfire
» 37 cell phone users
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Warm the House party webcam action: whee!
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Concerned parties should note that I have finally seen Monty Python and the Holy Grail. This, along with my recent first viewing of Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb , means that now I am fully aware of any and all pop cultural sayings that derive from these works. You can now use the following in my presence and I will laugh, knowing full well that you are (wo)man of the world:
“Bring out yer dead!”
“You can’t fight in here, this is the War Room!”
“I fart in your general direction!”
“You’re gonna have to answer to the Coca-Cola company.”
“Just a flesh wound!”
“I don’t think it’s quite fair to condemn a whole program because of a single slip-up.”
“Help! Help! I’m being repressed!”
And of course, the oft-used in daily vernacular:
“Ekki-Ekki-Ekki-Ekki-PTANG! Zoom-Boing! Z’nourrwringmm!”
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Happy Easter! 
