Random Thoughts from a Large Head

I know of at least three couples getting married in a one-month period next spring. It is my mission in life to get one of these couples to have a chocolate fountain at their reception. The other night, I had two of the brides in a chat room:

L: i still vote for a chocolate fountain
J: i’d have to truck it in. and they’re not cheap to begin with
L: get the fountain and screw everything else.
L: tell everyone “BYO thing to dip in chocolate”
C: god, fountains are pretty, but they are a PAIN
L: shut up connie.
K: chocolate fountains look good
J: we’d have to have the reception inside, the fountain could be no more than 10 feet from a plug, blah blah…
S: and let’s face it — we aren’t going to be a classy crowd with a chocolate fountain
L: screw class. CHOCOLATE! FOUNTAIN!
C: i’m all about a chocolate fountain
K: we’d all be gathered around it, getting chocolate EVERYWHERE
C: leia would be leaning over it openmouthed
J: i can see it now… 130 people swarming the fountain table.
J: …dropping things in and gunking up the works…
J: table collapsing…
J: and so on.
S: It would be like that bride who got arrested, but it would be all the guests went crazy with a sugar high
J: who needs alcohol? my guests get high on cocoa.
L: the cops show up and we are all covered in chocolate
S: the caterer would cut us off and we’d get violent
S: the cops would get a drop of sugar on them and we’d bite them
K: there’d be a riot when the fountain got shut off
L: chocolate fight!
J: we could set up a chocolate wrestling pit and let the guests place bets on the bridesmaids.
J: a modern alternative to the dollar dance.
K: sounds good to me.
K: I’d put my money on Leia any day

Five minutes later…
L: (chocolate fountain)
J: bite me
L: oh, i’ll bite you like i would a strawberry dipped in flowing chocolate.

Five minutes later…
L: (chocolate fountain)
S: I’m just thinkin’ out loud here
S: But a WHITE chocolate fountain would eliminate the stain issue
K: now THAT is thinking
S: Allow the bride to get into the mix

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I’ll be performing Saturday night in Austin as part of 20×2 version 3.5. Twenty people have two minutes each to answer “Who are you?”

If you’re in the Austin area, you should come check it out. There are some great folks speaking. If you aren’t in Austin, then get to Austin Saturday night.

I will likely be in Austin Friday night - who wants to do something?

Also, if I made reference to “24601″, would you get it?

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The overnight security guard in the building I work in is a crazy sixty-ish lady who says “Mmm, child” a lot. In chatting with her as I sign out every night, I’ve learned some things about life that I wanted to share with you, gentle reader:

» Fathers shouldn’t spoil their daughters with designer clothing, or when daddy can’t provide, she’ll do whatever is necessary to get the labels she wants.

» Don’t ever tell your significant other what you earn or when you get paid. She never told her two ex-husbands, and she was better for it.

» Always save money. If you have a dollar, save a quarter and spend the 75¢. But, don’t tell your partner about it.

» “Get yourself a short man, they’ll never leave you.”

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