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Life Advice From the Overnight Security Guard

September 4th, 2003

The overnight security guard in the building I work in is a crazy sixty-ish lady who says “Mmm, child” a lot. In chatting with her as I sign out every night, I’ve learned some things about life that I wanted to share with you, gentle reader:

» Fathers shouldn’t spoil their daughters with designer clothing, or when daddy can’t provide, she’ll do whatever is necessary to get the labels she wants.

» Don’t ever tell your significant other what you earn or when you get paid. She never told her two ex-husbands, and she was better for it.

» Always save money. If you have a dollar, save a quarter and spend the 75¢. But, don’t tell your partner about it.

» “Get yourself a short man, they’ll never leave you.”

Categories: random
  1. ed k.
    September 4th, 2003 at 14:51 | #1

    Hmmm … so that’s what I’m doing wrong. I need to date shorter men. :-)

  2. September 4th, 2003 at 19:37 | #2

    I’m enlightened!

  3. September 5th, 2003 at 05:03 | #3

    Ahh wisdom..I miss the “Don’t you EVER trust men” part..

  4. September 5th, 2003 at 06:01 | #4

    Who better to give advice than somebody that has two failed marriages :)

  5. El
    September 5th, 2003 at 06:02 | #5

    Actually, if more people in the country had the wisdom to realize they should save some of what they earn (at whatever income level), we’d all be better off. As for hiding it from your husband, well, I guess that depends on the husband. She sounds like a woman who’s learned from her life.

  6. September 7th, 2003 at 18:46 | #6

    That short man thing is so true. We’re just SOOOO grateful!!!

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