Death By Utility
The local gas company tried to kill me Thursday.
I finally got my gas turned on Thursday morning. The gas company connector came out to my apartment building, climbed down into our creepy basement, and turned on my gas. As part of the gas company’s full service, he also lit the pilots on my stove.
At this point, you’re probably saying, “But Leia, haven’t you lived in your apartment three and a half months now?” To which I say, “yes”. Which probably makes you think, “Umm… and you just now have the ability to use your stove?”, which means you severely overestimate my culinary inclinations and desires.
If it can’t be ready to eat in seven minutes with a minimum of effort (say, stabbing a hole over the main entree or venting a corner), I likely won’t make it for myself.
I really need the gas to heat my apartment.
But, back to the gas company’s futile efforts to end me (you should have realized at this point they were futile as I don’t anticipate being able to blog from beyond this mortal coil).
After lighting the stove’s pilots, the gas man departed and I was on my way back to work.
Eight hours later, I return home, noticing a odd smell. Somewhat natural gassy, but not overwhelmingly so. I figured that the smell was probably just from the gas man turning on all the burners and letting the gas run. A new gas smell, if you will.
Still, all evening I was slightly paranoid by the smell. Every lamp I turned on, every time the phone rang, every slight electrical current, I anticipated the fiery explosion.
Around ten o’clock, however, my paranoia increased. I was starting to feel light-headed and nauseous. I was tempted to go to bed, but my paranoia was telling me that I wouldn’t wake up.
I decided to call the gas company’s leak line. They sent out a representative around midnight.
Turns out I wasn’t being paranoid. I was smelling gas.
The man who connected the gas did not light the oven’s pilot light. All day, the oven filled with gas, which seeped out into my apartment.
Did I mention that I don’t have heaters in my apartment yet? I’m waiting on my landlord to get back in town and bring me the heaters to connect to the gas to heat my apartment.
So, Thursday night, when it is 42° out, I have to open a window in my apartment to air out the gas. Without heat. Then it started raining.
Between the gas inhalation, the cold, and the rain, I anticipate the onset of the flu any day now.
glad you are ok!
It just goes to show that being a lazy cook can save your life. If you had had the desire to cook some elegant meal for yourself last night, you surely would have blown yourself up. And people say fast food is bad for you. bah! I say eat a quarter-pounder and save a life.
Amen to that, Scott.
I’m glad you’re okay! Your cooking methods sound about like my cooking methods!
Natural gas does not have a smell naturally. They add something to give it a smell. What ever it is smells like trouble, the olfactory equivalent of the sound of a rattlesnake. Anytime you smell it, something is a miss. I am very glad neither you nor your apartment reenacted any part of the movie Fight Club. BTW do you have a CO2 sensor in you home? It may be a good investment.
I am certainly glad you didn’t light any matches to burn candles!
One morning when I got to school, my whole wing smelled and the doors and windows were all open. There had been a leak in the gas line to our school. Some of the classes had to start school outside. My room was OK.
Next time you think there is any kind of problem, better to be safe than sorry and call for any help. Better to look dumb for calling 911 or whatever than end up dead.
This is your mother talking!
In this case no amount of money from suing the gas company would replace you!
Love you, Mom